Don't Blink. Seriously. For Reasons

calenith: hotstuntskoolnights: People tend to think that growing up asexual in a conservative...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:15:51 -0400

hotstuntskoolnights:

People tend to think that growing up asexual in a conservative Christian home is simple. Your parents don’t want you to have sex, you’re not going to have sex. Simple.

When in fact, it still fucks you up, just in a much subtler way.

Conservative Christians are actually obsessed with sex. It’s no wonder, because sexual feelings are a natural part of the human experience for many people. You have to work hard to do away with something that is a natural part of you. You have to shove it into a little box and every time it slips out (cause it will, you’re human) you have to shove it back in. And then beat yourself up for letting it slip out.

It becomes this mystical force that will ruin your life, unless you let it out at the right time. When there’s a ring on it and not a moment before. Unless of course you’re attracted to the same sex, and in that case, Never.

Everyone knows that puberty is when sexual awakening starts. And if parents want to nip it in the bud they have to stay on top of that shit, and this is the time when most teenagers start considering sex. If you’re a “normal” sexual individual starting to get those urges, you have to sneak around your parents boundaries to pursue or even learn about this stuff. Your parents know that, and are waiting around corners to catch you with promise rings and pamphlets about STDs and passages in the Bible that say “don’t have sex”.

When you’re asexual, you’re watching all this from the outside. You see your peers sneaking round corners, and you don’t really care. When you were twelve your parents said “don’t have sex!” and you said “Ok!” and went back to drawing dragons. Nothing has changed since you became a teenager. But your parents are watching you with hawk eyes, and they’re even more frustrated when they see you showing no interest in sex at all. EVERYONE has sexual urges they have to curb, so you must just be really good at hiding it. So they watch you closer and closer and closer. You saunter round the corner your peers would be sneaking round, and your parents pop out and scream “Were you having sex!?” and you scream “No?!” because you were startled by this ambush and the idea of sex that couldn’t be farther from your mind but they take your vehement denial to be a sign of guilt and they keep pressing and pressing and pressing…

It gets even weirder when you’re assigned female. Cause you can say “I don’t have sexual feelings at all” and your mother will say “you’re a woman, of course you don’t. No woman does.” But they’re still waiting round those corners for you to slip up and do the sex. And they give you this picture of the future that “you’re a woman and you don’t want sex, but men NEED sex they NEED IT SO BAD so it’s something you’re going to have to do to keep your man happy”. If you’ve got a somewhat progressive mother she’ll add, “don’t worry, you’ll love it you’ll have so much fun once you’re married” to keep it from becoming a creepy lay-back-and-think-of-England thing, but it still becomes this thing that people will do TO you. You don’t need to have feelings at all on the matter, it’ll just happen.

Not to mention there’s the idea that marriage is the highest of achievements cause like, God is both male and female so when a male and a female marry they are basically the closest to God they’re ever gonna get. It’s ultimate happiness AND you FINALLY get to have the sex that’s been denied you and how on earth does a kid tell their parents they don’t want what is, for them, the greatest prize in this life?

All these messages are weird as fuck for an asexual kid. You don’t really care about this mystical force, but your parents, your pastor, your church peers, are always shoving it in your face as something awful and wonderful. So you get the idea that it’s something super important you never got the memo for. Just like in mainstream society, where sex is the Best Thing Ever, no one believes you when you say you don’t want it.

All of this has, for me at least, led to severe anxiety surrounding the topics of sex and marriage. It may be different for other people, but I think it’s safe to say that things aren’t simple for any of us when it comes to a heteronormative, sex negative and yet sex obsessed society.

“Sex negative yet sex obsessed society” EXACTLY THIS.

Parents and youth leaders spend so much time policing sexuality and discouraging close boy/girl relationships. And then you’re in your twenties and a switch flips and all of a sudden everyone and their dog wants you to GET MARRIED and HAVE BABIES because THE FAMILY IS ORDAINED OF GOD.

This whiplash is confusing, but add being ace to all of this and it gets even more confusing.

writing-prompt-s: cell113: hardykat: americanninjax: iopele: thehoneybeewitch: jumpingjacktrash...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:11:49 -0400

writing-prompt-s:

cell113:

hardykat:

americanninjax:

iopele:

thehoneybeewitch:

jumpingjacktrash:

fireandshellamari:

gilajames:

captaintinymite:

wickedwitchofthewifi:

silvermoonphantom:

rocky-horror-shit-show:

geniusorinsanity:

bigmammallama5:

voidbat:

eatbreathewrite:

writing-prompt-s:

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled walls.

It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.

It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.

As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.

Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.

“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year! You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”

She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.

The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans would say.

That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.

“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.

It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.

Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.

The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.

“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright, dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”

The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.

“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”

When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms.

“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”

Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.

this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.

i had to

I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE

Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.

Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins

I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils.

Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch.

Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart

In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that.

With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather.

Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here.

Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.”

The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.

They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground.

He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case.

Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson.

The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives.

P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.

the last lines of the show:

demon: you’re not blind here – but you’re not surprised. when…?

anette: oh, toddy, don’t be silly, my biological grandson’s not twelve feet tall and doesn’t scorch the furniture when he sneezes. i’ve known for ages.

demon: then why?

anette: you wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t lonely too.

demon: you… you don’t have to keep calling me your grandson.

anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and let’s go bake a cake. honey, heel!

honey: W̝̽̂̿͂͝Ọ̮̹̲̪̋ͦͅO̸̘͔̬͊F̜̫͙̟͕͖̙̋ͫ͌͗

that addition is a+ :)

THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS

Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Y’all! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).

If ever don’t reblogging this, I’m either dead, dying, or buried under cat.

This is why I love Tumblr so much! Thank you all for collaborating on this prompt and turning it into something beautiful <3

driverdaily:Any actor is happy to be involved with something...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:09:11 -0400

driverdaily:

Any actor is happy to be involved with something that’s challenging, controversial, and not easily palatable. Things that are too dumbed down or easy to swallow are uninteresting… It’s good when people have such a polarizing response.

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:08:55 -0400

pearwaldorf: brigdh: w4rgoddess: tanukiham: chimis-changa: I’...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:54:11 -0400

pearwaldorf:

brigdh:

w4rgoddess:

tanukiham:

chimis-changa:

I’ve brought a precious gift for you too. This slave! Especially bought for you. He has the guile of a wolf and the agility of a cheetah. He will serve you in every way possible.

I honestly thought this was a cut scene from Assassin’s Creed

I am the king having a squeeing clapping shitfit in the second to last gif.

So clearly I need to watch this Bollywood movie immediately….

This is called Padmaavat! I know literally nothing else about it other than it came out this year.

huxben:i can’t believe lego saved kylux again [x]

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:52:46 -0400

huxben:

i can’t believe lego saved kylux again [x]

lego is the most powerful kylux shipper of us all

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:52:40 -0400

shorteststory: TIP YOUR MASSEUSES // a short story about paying...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:52:16 -0400

shorteststory:

TIP YOUR MASSEUSES // a short story about paying your masseuses well

You can also read my stories on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

evermore-fashion:Pamella Roland Resort 2019 Collection

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:51:37 -0400

evermore-fashion:

Pamella Roland Resort 2019 Collection

davecabbage: Hey, heyI finally found my waySaid goodbye to...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:46:02 -0400

davecabbage:

Hey, hey
I finally found my way
Said goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas, there ain’t no brakes on this lost highway
- Bon Jovi, Lost Highway

Kylux Rival Motorcycle Gangs AU

Hi, I blame @paintedapples11 for inspiring this <3

The roads are ruled by The Knights of Ren and The First Order, but the small town of Jakku isn’t big enough for two biker gangs and tensions run high as the two fight for power in a never ending struggle.

Of their numbers, Kylo and Hux clash more than any other members, their paths always intertwining at the crossroads .It’s far too easy to just take off in the other direction; they burn rubber as they race neck and neck to outrun each other and prove… something.

And yet those races are the most exhilarating either have ever experienced. No one else matches their speed or manages to keep up when they pull stupid, dangerous manoeuvres that only they seem to survive where others have crashed and burned. It becomes more than just a pissing contest; they both come to live for the thrill of the chase, almost willing the other to hunt them down, not sure what would happen if one of them captured their prey.

When Kylo comes off his bike after a dirty move he pulled, Hux should just leave him out on the road, but something makes him stop, and turn back. He expects a fight; Kylo has a hair trigger temper and has been known to pull a knife for someone just looking at him the wrong way. Hux doesn’t expect the laughter or the big, stupid grin when Kylo pulls off his helmet.

“No one’s ever had me on my ass like that since…. ever.”

Kylo sounded breathless, but Hux was the one who couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. Eyes that had only ever looked at him with coldness now crinkled; a mouth that only ever turned down in a snarl showed wide, uneven teeth; and a voice that only screamed profanities into the wind on the open highway, let out the most beautiful sound Hux had ever heard.

Something changes that night and gives way to something…new. Rivarly turns into comradeship and vicious resentment into grudging respect. They push each other to their limits and beyond. Goad one another into becoming better than they once were.

Slowly, they see they’re not so different, with more shared traits than not. That burning intensity that existed between them takes on a new form. The heat, still as blazing as before, suddenly burning differently.

And yet they’re still two worlds apart, both travelling the same highway on roads that aren’t meant to cross.

Stolen moments in greasy diners, cheap motel rooms or camped out under the stars. They’ll take whatever they can get, but they’ll always be left wanting more.

highkingmiko: ok im sad and therefore i had to make these losers...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:45:26 -0400

highkingmiko:

ok im sad and therefore i had to make these losers happy but some of them turned sad…therefore mission dont be sad was a failure but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

~~also, note, i dont have a style as demonstrated above also i dont give a hoot about anatomy~~

(ask me things off this challenge, or just requests in general, just read the tags on the post!)

little-starfighter: you know I can take whatever I want

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:45:13 -0400

little-starfighter:

you know I can take whatever I want

youthxcrew69:THIS IS A CAT PLAYING IN FALL LEAVES THIS IS VERY...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:43:59 -0400

youthxcrew69:

THIS IS A CAT PLAYING IN FALL LEAVES THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

eva4art: *me drinking wine surrounded by all my...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:43:38 -0400

eva4art:

*me drinking wine surrounded by all my doggo-children*

Idk dude, I’m just really thirsty for Kylo Ren, like am I Hux or what?

alcindora: there she is… the Giant Slice

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:48:38 -0400

alcindora:

there she is… the Giant Slice

pachoherreras: the veep awakens

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 17:01:13 -0400

pachoherreras:

the veep awakens

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 14:30:35 -0400

kitty: also mood

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 14:30:31 -0400

kitty:

also mood

koujaaku: Setting his phone to the side, he reached for the hem...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 14:29:47 -0400

koujaaku:

Setting his phone to the side, he reached for the hem of Hux’s t-shirt, lifting it up and over his head. Hux was narrow-ribbed and skinny compared to Ben’s breadth, but he wasn’t shy about it. He stayed kneeling on the mattress, facing Ben without shame. Gently, Ben put his hands around Hux’s waist, holding him lightly but with intention.

Hux let Ben approach him at his own pace, coming close enough to bump his long nose against Hux’s sternum. When Hux laid his hand at the back of Ben’s head, Ben turned to rest his cheek over Hux’s heart. He stayed there, perfectly still, for a while before he sighed deeply and began to nuzzle his way up to Hux’s shoulder, his neck, under his jaw.

–chapter six (my favorite chapter) of Allemande💕

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 14:28:41 -0400